“I Wish I Was 60” by Laura Culberg
Contemplating the middle ground.
For the last year, I have been working as a contact tracer. This is not my life’s passion, it was just a stop-gap job to transition from selling my business. I wanted a job and the pandemic was on in full force so it worked out.
About ten months into contact tracing I felt totally burned out and knew that I needed to move on. Move on to what I wasn’t sure about, but I needed to get out of that job.
Yesterday I was in my dingy basement office finishing the last day of my job when my neighbor texted me asking for an egg. Grateful for a break from the arduous last few hours, I happily agreed to run it over to her. My neighbor and I are both in our early fifties. She’s planning to leave her job in June and so we were talking about next steps.
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About ten months into contact tracing I felt totally burned out and knew that I needed to move on. Move on to what I wasn’t sure about, but I needed to get out of that job.
Yesterday I was in my dingy basement office finishing the last day of my job when my neighbor texted me asking for an egg. Grateful for a break from the arduous last few hours, I happily agreed to run it over to her. My neighbor and I are both in our early fifties. She’s planning to leave her job in June and so we were talking about next steps.
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Renegotiating Identity as We Age by Jen Gippel, PhD
The role of creativity and life-long learning.
Recently the New York Times retired the assignation of Op-Ed and created a new label for this segment called “Guest Essays.” Aged 50, the op-ed is enormously popular; however, the NYT rightly sees the tag as a relic of a pre-digital age.
While the NYT says the underlying mission remains the same, I’m sure you’ll agree that “op-ed” and “guest essay” convey different identities!
We too are creating and recreating our identity over our entire life. Often our core identity is labeled according to our main occupation: writer, artist, teacher, parent, etc. We will recognize sub-identities within that occupation: creative writer, modern artist, cool teacher, strict parent! These labels are important. For one thing, they tell others something about us.
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While the NYT says the underlying mission remains the same, I’m sure you’ll agree that “op-ed” and “guest essay” convey different identities!
We too are creating and recreating our identity over our entire life. Often our core identity is labeled according to our main occupation: writer, artist, teacher, parent, etc. We will recognize sub-identities within that occupation: creative writer, modern artist, cool teacher, strict parent! These labels are important. For one thing, they tell others something about us.
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Is 49 Too Old to Change Your Last Name? By Tatyana Sussex
I mocked late-marriers for taking their husbands' name — then I went and did it.
When my husband proposed to me, I was 49 and never married. He was 57 and a widower. While the content of our lives would fuse, mingle and blend, one thing would remain the same: my name.
I always thought there was something a bit mutton-dressed-up-as-lamb about a middle-aged woman who takes her husband’s name — like wearing a mini-skirt and pigtails at 50.
On more occasions than I care to admit, I was the wedding guest who rolled her eyes when the 40-year-old bride was presented with her husband’s last name. I’d knock my elbow into the arm of my best single girlfriend and whisper, “Isn’t it a bit late for that?”
When I informed Steve, my fiancé, of my plans to remain Tatyana Mishel he shrugged, “I figured.”
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I always thought there was something a bit mutton-dressed-up-as-lamb about a middle-aged woman who takes her husband’s name — like wearing a mini-skirt and pigtails at 50.
On more occasions than I care to admit, I was the wedding guest who rolled her eyes when the 40-year-old bride was presented with her husband’s last name. I’d knock my elbow into the arm of my best single girlfriend and whisper, “Isn’t it a bit late for that?”
When I informed Steve, my fiancé, of my plans to remain Tatyana Mishel he shrugged, “I figured.”
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Stepping into a New Decade by Carol Price
The truth about priorities.
Next year I will turn 70 years old.
I didn’t take much notice of the previous four big birthdays, but this one seems to loom over me ominously.
It might be because at the back of my mind, I think that this could be the last decade that I will see. Suddenly the seasonal changes seem more poignant. Will I only ever see another ten springs? The urgency to grow more in my garden has begun to make me feel anxious. If I don’t plant those fruit trees now, I may never see them bear fruit.
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I didn’t take much notice of the previous four big birthdays, but this one seems to loom over me ominously.
It might be because at the back of my mind, I think that this could be the last decade that I will see. Suddenly the seasonal changes seem more poignant. Will I only ever see another ten springs? The urgency to grow more in my garden has begun to make me feel anxious. If I don’t plant those fruit trees now, I may never see them bear fruit.
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Not a Mere Remnant by Deborah Barchi
A heart-lifting revelation.
I am turning 70 this year. As Michelangelo said in his 90’s, “I am still learning.”
One thing I keep learning and relearning is that we tend to look at the very elderly and forget they were ever the very young.
The greying or disappearing hair, the deeply-crenelated skin, the bent shoulders and back, the arthritic hands. We feel sympathy for the very old because it seems they are but remnants of a life. A crumpled leaf soon to be swept away by a random wind.
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One thing I keep learning and relearning is that we tend to look at the very elderly and forget they were ever the very young.
The greying or disappearing hair, the deeply-crenelated skin, the bent shoulders and back, the arthritic hands. We feel sympathy for the very old because it seems they are but remnants of a life. A crumpled leaf soon to be swept away by a random wind.
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Now I'm Invisible by Nalini McNab
And I won't pretend it isn't wonderful.
This post was inspired by a recent article by Marie A Bailey. In it she quotes her friend, Sarah, as saying, “…But now I’m invisible, and I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt…” Sometimes it does. But, more often, losing the perspective of how others see me, and how I have seen versions of myself, is more liberating than anything else.
After a lifetime of mindfulness, I’m still practicing. Know what I mean?
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After a lifetime of mindfulness, I’m still practicing. Know what I mean?
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What I've Learned at 65 by David Martin
With age comes wisdom…..sort of.
Here are just a few of the things I’ve learned since turning 65:
I miss my old job like I miss the flu.
I envy the strength of a teenage male’s urine flow rather than his sexual prowess.
You can live on less than you thought.
Why use a harsh word when a threat of legal action will do?
When you’re retired, you’ve got all the time in the world to deal with customer service reps.
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I miss my old job like I miss the flu.
I envy the strength of a teenage male’s urine flow rather than his sexual prowess.
You can live on less than you thought.
Why use a harsh word when a threat of legal action will do?
When you’re retired, you’ve got all the time in the world to deal with customer service reps.
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Finding Purpose in Your Life by Katharine Esty, PhD
After age 70, the Big Question becomes: “What is essential for a good life now?
Modern medicine has extended life expectancy in the US far beyond the wildest dreams of people just a century ago. Those of you who are 70 or older are likely to live 15 or 20 or even 25 more years. As we age, our life expectancy grows too. And as we age we evolve. We start asking different questions that need new answers.
The Big Questions become: “What is the purpose of all these added years?”; “ What is essential for a good life now?” and we may even find ourselves wondering from time to time, “Just why should I survive?”
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The Big Questions become: “What is the purpose of all these added years?”; “ What is essential for a good life now?” and we may even find ourselves wondering from time to time, “Just why should I survive?”
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The Things That Can't Be Undone by Ann Litts
Letting go of regrets.
As I have gotten older, I find myself occasionally pondering my past. I don’t live there, but now and again during moments of self-reflection — some history pops up.
And as with most Humans, I see All. The. Things. I did ‘wrong’. All the places and moments when I could have and should have done better, been kinder, caused less heartbreak. I realize I am not being led to these memories to beat myself up over any of them. I am being led there to learn how to forgive the most important Human in the equation: Myself.
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And as with most Humans, I see All. The. Things. I did ‘wrong’. All the places and moments when I could have and should have done better, been kinder, caused less heartbreak. I realize I am not being led to these memories to beat myself up over any of them. I am being led there to learn how to forgive the most important Human in the equation: Myself.
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Eternity's Ladder by Mark Tulin
A poem about a proud gentleman.
He is proud to be 101 today,
the man in the nursing home
The one who sits at the center table
with a gentlemanly smile and gets up
to dance with the ladies
He’s the one who sings
“Amazing Grace” with the pastor
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the man in the nursing home
The one who sits at the center table
with a gentlemanly smile and gets up
to dance with the ladies
He’s the one who sings
“Amazing Grace” with the pastor
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The Best Part of Growing Older in a Young World by Sophia Rose
It's not the Knee Wrinkles.
A man from my home town died yesterday, from COVID-19. He was 57, the news report said. Sort of old, I thought.
It took me a moment to remember. That’s how old I am.
I could be that man, the one that others think, eh, well, he lived a good amount of his life.
But, no! I have 30 years left, at least, right? Good, happy years.
I want to buy a sailboat and live on it. Not when I retire, but soon.
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It took me a moment to remember. That’s how old I am.
I could be that man, the one that others think, eh, well, he lived a good amount of his life.
But, no! I have 30 years left, at least, right? Good, happy years.
I want to buy a sailboat and live on it. Not when I retire, but soon.
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Not My Grandma's Sixty by Nancy Peckenham
Her portrait at that age looks nothing like mine.
There’s a cultural shift in motion, gaining momentum, poised to make a lasting impact. I’m referring to the shift in how people view aging, a transition away from fear to realizing the freedom a lifetime of experience can bring.
I know the fear of aging was buried deep inside me when I was young, really young. I remember when I was five years old I visited my paternal grandmother, tiptoeing around her lace curtains, careful not to disturb the china figurines. My grandmother wore her grey hair in short tight curls, rimless glasses on the bridge of her nose. She rarely smiled, her lips typically wedged together in a grimace. It was impossible to think I would ever be like her.
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I know the fear of aging was buried deep inside me when I was young, really young. I remember when I was five years old I visited my paternal grandmother, tiptoeing around her lace curtains, careful not to disturb the china figurines. My grandmother wore her grey hair in short tight curls, rimless glasses on the bridge of her nose. She rarely smiled, her lips typically wedged together in a grimace. It was impossible to think I would ever be like her.
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Hands of Time by Susan Miller
Whose hands are these that rest prim and proper on my lap?
My vanity, like the lady I no longer wish to be.
with nails like caps atop each one.
Unbreakable, when I didn’t bite them.
Delicious at times; too good to give up.
Ragged when life was ragged, or polished to hide my sins.
These days my fingers point willy-nilly.
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My vanity, like the lady I no longer wish to be.
with nails like caps atop each one.
Unbreakable, when I didn’t bite them.
Delicious at times; too good to give up.
Ragged when life was ragged, or polished to hide my sins.
These days my fingers point willy-nilly.
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Who Are You Calling Elderly? By Ruby Lee
And other old people insults.
How old do you have to be before you become one of the elderly?
So you turn on the news and hear a news report on television about some poor elderly person. The report itself becomes of no consequence for you because you suddenly realize that the person they are talking about is the same age as you!
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So you turn on the news and hear a news report on television about some poor elderly person. The report itself becomes of no consequence for you because you suddenly realize that the person they are talking about is the same age as you!
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The Utterly Exhaustive Guide to Being the Perfect Grandparent by Mary DeVries
Perfect is relative to whether you are the grandchild or parent.
There is tons of advice out there on how to be the perfect parent but not as much is written about how to grandparent properly. Are we assuming this is instinctive? I figure I’d better rush in quickly with my completely unsolicited grandparenting advice before I have any personal experience being one myself, since I’m sure reality will totally mess with my perfect preconceived notions.
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What Happens When We Die by Nancy Peckenham
I have no idea but my mother's death gave me some clues.
What happens when we die? If I could accurately answer that question, I’d have millions of followers in a heartbeat. Isn’t that what most religions are supposed to provide, a belief in the afterlife, something that helps soften the blow of death?
I don’t know what happens when we die, but I am still processing what I witnessed when my mother passed away last year. Are they clues to what awaits us when after death?
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I don’t know what happens when we die, but I am still processing what I witnessed when my mother passed away last year. Are they clues to what awaits us when after death?
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Just Last Week by Eileen Vorbach Collins
I had a big garden.
Just last week, I was 20 years old
With long thick hair parted down the middle
This morning, in my mirror is a woman
With thinning white hair so short it needs no part
Just last week, I marched in Washington
to protest a war in a faraway land
Assuming, in my naivety
that all lives matter
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With long thick hair parted down the middle
This morning, in my mirror is a woman
With thinning white hair so short it needs no part
Just last week, I marched in Washington
to protest a war in a faraway land
Assuming, in my naivety
that all lives matter
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Coracles. A poem by Lisa Wathen
A thousand years ago
Monks set off from the rocky western shores of the old world.
Alone
They took to the fathomless depths in simple, shallow tubs
crocheted of sticks and leather,
submitting without paddle or sail
to wind and tide.
They trusted their crafts
To carry them safely:
rough little coracles —
Nothing but sticks and twine, wattle and daub, covered in hides
Little round bodies tossed and blown
Taking them across, around,
over and through this world
to a greater purpose.
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Monks set off from the rocky western shores of the old world.
Alone
They took to the fathomless depths in simple, shallow tubs
crocheted of sticks and leather,
submitting without paddle or sail
to wind and tide.
They trusted their crafts
To carry them safely:
rough little coracles —
Nothing but sticks and twine, wattle and daub, covered in hides
Little round bodies tossed and blown
Taking them across, around,
over and through this world
to a greater purpose.
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Who Are You Calling Elderly? By Ruby Lee
And other old people insults.
How old do you have to be before you become one of the elderly?
So you turn on the news and hear a news report on television about some poor elderly person. The report itself becomes of no consequence for you because you suddenly realize that the person they are talking about is the same age as you!
“Outrageous,” you think to yourself. “Who are ‘they’ calling elderly!”
“Not me because I feel great. Ok, so the bones are creaky, and I’ve got to take all of these meds, but I’m not elderly.”
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So you turn on the news and hear a news report on television about some poor elderly person. The report itself becomes of no consequence for you because you suddenly realize that the person they are talking about is the same age as you!
“Outrageous,” you think to yourself. “Who are ‘they’ calling elderly!”
“Not me because I feel great. Ok, so the bones are creaky, and I’ve got to take all of these meds, but I’m not elderly.”
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Our Bodies Write Us Love Letters by Julia E. Hubbel
The lifelong conversation we have with our physical forms
Three years ago I started writing on Medium and, as is my habit, I also began to explore the available authors. One, a woman close to my age (at the time I was 65) had done a photo shoot of herself in sexy lingerie.
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Three years ago I started writing on Medium and, as is my habit, I also began to explore the available authors. One, a woman close to my age (at the time I was 65) had done a photo shoot of herself in sexy lingerie.
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After by Christina Sng
A poem for my father written the night before his funeral.
After he died,
My father told me,
Don’t look for me
In my bones and ashes,
I am not there.
I am now free --
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My father told me,
Don’t look for me
In my bones and ashes,
I am not there.
I am now free --
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Who Cares About A Little Rain? By Laura Culberg
Drama-free friends.
Today my friend Kate and I went for a walk. Our plan was to walk to the local coffee shop to get their specialty — Cardamom Rose Lattes. When we started walking it was warm and sunny, surprisingly so for winter in the Pacific Northwest. As we walked, it started to sprinkle a little bit, and then a bit more, and then it started to pour. We were several blocks from the coffee shop and were getting completely drenched.
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Shielding a Mother with Advanced Dementia during Covid by Catherine Verner MsC
An amazing story of humanity and humility.
The Scene (March 2020)
Scotland, UK. Small 2-bedroomed house. Semi-rural location. Neighbours leaving food outside the front door. Family telephoning, hopeful that we were ok.
We were not unique. We were not alone in our struggle.
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Scotland, UK. Small 2-bedroomed house. Semi-rural location. Neighbours leaving food outside the front door. Family telephoning, hopeful that we were ok.
We were not unique. We were not alone in our struggle.
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I Refuse to be Invisible by Carol Lennox
I’m an older woman. Deal with it.
Now, that subtitle may sound like a rant, but this isn’t a rant. I won’t be chastising you or the entirety of western culture for making older women feel invisible. At least not in this article.
Is it a result of patriarchy, resulting in a devaluation of women of all ages, but especially older ones? Of course.
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Is it a result of patriarchy, resulting in a devaluation of women of all ages, but especially older ones? Of course.
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A Daughter's Voice by Deborah Barchi
The pathway to memory.
Photo of my mother taken by Debbie Barchi.
My mother sometimes knows me. And sometimes she does not.
Sometimes I am her sister. Sometimes her mother. Sometimes an old friend from school.
I am never sure which it will be.
“Mummy,” I say, taking her hand. “It’s Debbie Doll.”
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Sometimes I am her sister. Sometimes her mother. Sometimes an old friend from school.
I am never sure which it will be.
“Mummy,” I say, taking her hand. “It’s Debbie Doll.”
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Zooming by Dennett
A grandmother does it.
I made it nearly a year into a global pandemic without Zooming. One client asked me to join him in a Zoom meeting, and I replied, “Sorry, I don’t Zoom.” He looked perplexed as though I said I don’t breathe. But, he never asked again.
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Clothes: Fashion or Function? By The Write Yard
How the importance of clothes has changed as I grow older.
I used to dress to impress. Spent time doing my hair and put on a little make-up, not much, but a little definition around the eyes and maybe a touch of lip gloss.
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Aging Hands by Mark Tulin
I took a road trip
along the lines
of my palms,
gray and worn,
hands of experience,
wonderful rivers,
dark valleys,
and mountains
still to climb
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along the lines
of my palms,
gray and worn,
hands of experience,
wonderful rivers,
dark valleys,
and mountains
still to climb
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A Message from the Other Side by Anna I. Smith
Or is it just an annoying bird and menopause?
It’s 5 a.m. A screeching, sharp twitter like no other wakes me up.
I try to but can’t go back to sleep. Thirty years ago I’d wake up and fall asleep without a problem. Now things are different. Now my on-off switch gets stuck in the on position. It’s ironic. When I finally have the opportunity to set my own schedule, when it’s just the two of us with no next day obligations I wake up before the wildlife outside my window does. Menopause is cruel.
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I try to but can’t go back to sleep. Thirty years ago I’d wake up and fall asleep without a problem. Now things are different. Now my on-off switch gets stuck in the on position. It’s ironic. When I finally have the opportunity to set my own schedule, when it’s just the two of us with no next day obligations I wake up before the wildlife outside my window does. Menopause is cruel.
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Yoga and Breathing Provide Natural Relief for Stubborn Menopause Symptoms by Rose Bak
Twenty minutes a day can make a huge difference in how you feel.
Deposit photo.
If you join a conversation with women in their 50s invariably the conversation will turn to menopause.
“These hot flashes are killing me!” someone will exclaim, fanning themselves.
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“These hot flashes are killing me!” someone will exclaim, fanning themselves.
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Bleeding Out and Beginning Again by Ren Powell
Puzzle Tree by Ren Powell.
Heading toward a quarter moon. The light is slipping away. I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed the moon as often as I have these past weeks. I suppose in part because we run under the cover of trees so often on the dark mornings. And I suppose because conversation is distracting.
Leaving my phone in the house while I walk Leonard now first thing each day, the quiet can be intense. Especially these days with the clear skies.
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Leaving my phone in the house while I walk Leonard now first thing each day, the quiet can be intense. Especially these days with the clear skies.
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Juggling All. The. Things by Ann Litts
Photo by Joshua Woroniecki.
I’ve been retired now a little over two months. And frankly, I just don’t know how I ever made time to hold down a 40-hour+/week job! Because truly — I just don’t have the time (or inclination) to make that work anymore.
In my pre-retirement days, I heard horror stories of Humans who simply went adrift once they clocked out for the last time. Humans who were bored with retirement and went back to work at a new place just for something to do. Humans who languished on their couch watching Netflix and NCIS reruns. Humans who died shortly into retirement — because the adrenaline of their jobs was the only thing keeping them alive.
I was warned that I “better” find some hobbies if I wanted any quality of life in retirement. I was also told that I’d be so bored — I’d WANT to come back into the workforce by the end of the first six months.
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In my pre-retirement days, I heard horror stories of Humans who simply went adrift once they clocked out for the last time. Humans who were bored with retirement and went back to work at a new place just for something to do. Humans who languished on their couch watching Netflix and NCIS reruns. Humans who died shortly into retirement — because the adrenaline of their jobs was the only thing keeping them alive.
I was warned that I “better” find some hobbies if I wanted any quality of life in retirement. I was also told that I’d be so bored — I’d WANT to come back into the workforce by the end of the first six months.
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How to Grow Old With Youthful Spirit by Zoe Berry |
Photo by Cengizhan Konuş on Unsplash
Recently I have taken up a new mantra and it’s this:
“Live as though you will last forever but stay mindful that it could all be over tomorrow.”
It’s a blend of the stoic reminder Memento Mori, literally ‘Remember that you must die’ with a prompt based on my belief that in order to age well we should be willing to keep moving forward, be curious to learn new things and think new thoughts. It seems like a contradiction in terms.
Indeed Marcus Aurelius, known as the stoic Roman Emperor, wrote to himself:
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“Live as though you will last forever but stay mindful that it could all be over tomorrow.”
It’s a blend of the stoic reminder Memento Mori, literally ‘Remember that you must die’ with a prompt based on my belief that in order to age well we should be willing to keep moving forward, be curious to learn new things and think new thoughts. It seems like a contradiction in terms.
Indeed Marcus Aurelius, known as the stoic Roman Emperor, wrote to himself:
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Talk to Me When I'm Old by Nancy Peckenham |
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Talk to me like I’m not there, And I will disappear. Talk about me, in front of me, a piece of furniture, And I will withdraw, resentful. The glazed look in my eyes will be a shield Against your stupidity. I’m not deaf and I sure am not dumb. I just can’t remember what I ate for breakfast. Tell me a story and I will feel The same passions you do. My feelings have not evaporated with my short-term memory. I am living. I am alive. Talk to me. |